


Say It If It's Worth Saving Me

by xoThanksForTheMemoriesxo



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: F/M, beth is still the boss bitch, boland kids make an appearance or two, brio babies, rio drops his attitude and admits he has mad feelings for his business partner
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:34:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23510152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoThanksForTheMemoriesxo/pseuds/xoThanksForTheMemoriesxo
Summary: Beth has Rio's baby. Rio finds out.Brio endgame obviously.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Comments: 87
Kudos: 409





	1. Her

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 3x03. My first Good Girls fic! I apologize for any typos.

_These city walls ain't got no love for me_

_I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story_

_And all I scream for you, come please I'm callin'_

_And all I need from you, hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

_Show me what it's like to be the last one standing_

_And teach me wrong from right and I'll show you what I can be_

_And say it for me say it to me and I'll leave this life behind me_

…

_35 Weeks. 4 Days._ Beth wondered how different things would be if he were here right now?

Would there be a black car parked in the street in front of her house? Would he stay there himself? Would he watch her as she slept, from the chair in the corner, making sure she didn’t do anything stupid?

Would he crawl into the bed and drape his arm over her swollen belly? What would he be doing if she hadn’t shot him three times and killed him?

A strong swift kick to her rib cage pulled her out of her daydream. Beth winced, someone was waking up.

It was nice having the entire bed to herself. She stretched out comfortably and yawned. Dean had the kids right now and she needed to get the house spotless. 35 weeks in and she felt every second of it. Her breasts had become even heavier, if she could imagine that, and her clothes stopped fitting weeks ago. When she was home alone, she often walked around in just a tank top. Sometimes she would pass by a mirror and the reflection would startle her. Her porcelain white skin was as pale as it ever was while her belly stuck out and was perfectly rounded. Her breasts that Rio once referred to as her machine guns were pulling her down creating extra strain on her back. Beth enjoyed being pregnant up until the last month, when she felt too big to go anywhere or do anything. She knew that she was going to get something amazing out of all this, and it was a good thing too because with her being so close, the kids lived with Dean half the time. Nights were growing longer with the house so empty. Days like today were depressing.

Beth never used it as an excuse to stop being a mom of four-almost five-children. There was always plenty to do. After finding out, she had spent months going through separation and divorce and the rest of the time was spent working her ass off. She made enough money during that time to be able to stay home for a couple years and raise a baby, all because he taught her so well.

And now the only thing she could do was try to keep things in order until she arrived.

Sometimes she daydreamed about him being there taking care of everything. She wished that for once, someone else could do something for her. Beth would’ve loved a cold glass of orange juice in a tall glass with French toast and bacon. She wanted an hour-long foot rub followed by a pedicure. But all of that would require getting up and going out. Everything was swollen, everything hurt. So she settled on closing her eyes and going back to sleep, maybe in her dreams things would not be so lonely.

_37 Weeks. 3 Days._ After four kids, she thought that they should be able to just fall out by now. But no, when her water broke as she slept, she didn’t immediately begin feeling contractions. It took about 15 minutes before she felt anything and when she did, it was hardly painful. The next one that came about 12 minutes later was nothing either, if it weren’t for her water breaking she would’ve slept right through it.

Instead of rushing to the hospital where she would have to wait for hours in an uncomfortable bed, she used the opportunity to take care of a few things. Beth knew that she had all the time in the world. She knew that staying on her feet and moving would keep things going, and there were lots of things that needed to be done.

The clothes in the laundry room were piling up, so she stuffed the machine as full as it would allow, mix-matching colors and fabrics. She didn’t really care at this point, she just wanted the clothes off the floor.

She felt a sharper twinge as she bent down to grab the last of the clothes from off the tile surface. Beth stopped what she was doing until it faded, and it gradually did.

Just as she walked out of the laundry room, Beth remembered.

She remembered the stupid mistake she made every time she went to have a baby. She never ate enough before going to the hospital. The rule was once you were admitted, you weren’t allowed to eat. She understood and appreciated most medicinal practices, but denying a pregnant woman food was just cruel. And this time there would be no one there to sneak food in for her.

She opened the refrigerator and made herself two turkey sandwiches. The first bite was so good and the next was too, her mouth was crammed full when the next contraction came. Beth rolled her eyes and stopped eating, just wanting to enjoy her food. She breathed through the growing discomfort and rested her elbows on the counter. After it passed, she ate an apple. Then a bowl of cereal, a piece of cheesecake, a soft pretzel, and a brownie. Beth wasn’t sorry, she was the one doing all the work and she needed as much energy as she could get.

Beth walked around for a little while and eventually decided to relax in the bath. The hot water felt so good. She closed her eyes and held her stomach. She turned the shower on so that she could soak in the tub and let the water hit her body at the same time. It was like being in a warm rainstorm. The beating of the water against her skin almost masked the pain that was becoming more and more apparent. She would probably need to leave soon.

She put on a loose pair of pajamas bottoms and a soft sweater.

Her hospital bag was in the corner of her bedroom, it had been waiting there for over a month now. Beth went through every item one by one just so she knew that she hadn’t forgotten anything. She had already checked it earlier in the week, but there was no harm in checking it again and she still had time. As predicted, everything was there, including the sleeper that she picked out for her baby, it was soft and pink and it said “Mommy’s Girl” on the front. She couldn’t wait to see what it looked like on.

As she moved slowly down the stairs, Beth could no longer hear the washer going. The clothes were heavier from being wet, but she managed to transfer every piece to the dryer.

The drive to the hospital was uncomfortable. Traffic was slow, the lights were slow, she was slow. Beth moaned deeply as the contractions kept coming on a more frequent schedule.

When she arrived, she was already at a 4. Her labor nurse asked if she wanted to hurry up and get the epidural before it was too late, Beth softly declined. She realized over the years, the more natural she went the easier it was to recover. She was going to have five children by the end of the day, she didn’t have time for a slow recovery.

Despite how much it was starting to hurt, Beth stuck to her plan and didn’t reach out to anyone. Not Ruby, not Annie, no one. This time she wanted to do it alone. The three of them were always there for each other’s babies, but this time it was different. Ashamed was such a strong word and she would never say that this little baby inside her was a something to be ashamed of, but it was his kid. It made her sorry. Beth closed up so much after what she did to him, nobody understood how she felt about him or what he meant to her. She didn’t even know that. What she knew was that she was 100% responsible for the situation she was currently in and she needed to face that head on.

Maybe it was her way of punishing herself for what she did.

…

The hospital beds were small and uncomfortable, just like she remembered. She opted to walk around the maternity floor which would make the pain a lot worse, but it would also make things speed up and she was more ready to get this baby out. By the time she walked around three times, they were coming every couple minutes and seemed to be lasting longer and longer. As she approached her door, she grabbed the railing on the wall for support. A terribly strong one was building and she wanted to get back inside her room before she screamed.

Almost immediately after entering and shutting the door, it hit.

Beth clutched her stomach and held her breath, _just scream_ she told herself.

She couldn’t move, she couldn’t sit, she couldn’t breathe. She just stood there doubled over, teeth clenched, and eyes closed. A long raucous groan finally made its way out of her throat, quiet at first then growing louder and louder. In the height of the contraction, Beth was wishing that she wasn’t alone. If anyone could just stand next to her so she wouldn’t collapse… Then the pain slowly started to ease and she felt like a diminished version of herself. Making her way over to the bed, she crawled onto the mattress and rested on her knees with her arms supporting the rest of her weight. It was a struggle trying to catch her breath. She no longer felt the need to be strong. She no longer felt the need to be independent. He should be here, how was she going to do this without him?

With her back facing the door, Beth could only hear it creak open. She was stuck on all fours unable to turn around. She knew that it was time for another check, but she was also feeling nauseous and slightly disoriented. Beth knew that if she tried to roll back over, she would either throw up or pass out.

“I can’t move,” she said with gritted teeth, seething as another contraction was on its way.

“That’s alright,” the nurse said. Beth focused on breathing through the contraction and she tried to not make any noise.

The horrible pressure in between her legs indicated that she was coming soon. She put her hand on her stomach and prayed that she was at least a 7.

“Whatever you do, don’t push,” she heard the nurse say dramatically. Not moving from her crouched position, Beth whipped her head around. “What’s wrong?” she asked nervously with her eyes growing wide.

“Baby’s crowing,” the nurse said rushing out of the room, leaving Beth all to herself. Her words must’ve had some physiological effect because at that very moment, Beth felt its force. She cried out as she felt the baby’s head starting to stretch her skin.

It was a chore and she wailed the whole time, but somehow she was able to roll onto her back. With the bed elevated upwards, she instinctively leaned forward with her legs bent. And it only made her want to give in more and bear down.

The labor nurse as well as two more nurses quickly filled the room. They began prepping everything as they waited for the doctor to arrive. An infant warmer was brought in, they rolled over the metal tray which had the delivery supplies. She saw the blue nasal aspirator, the sets of clamps and scissors. She was really doing this.

As soon as the doctor walked in, one nurse was waiting with a gown, which he threw on as well as a set of gloves. Before she knew it, he was sitting at the edge of the bed, right in front of her. Beth didn’t need any direction at this point, her body already knew the way.

“Let’s have a baby,” her doctor said in a warm voice.

She knew to listen, to push when he said to push, and to stop when he said stop.

“She’s got lots of dark brown hair, Beth,” her nurse says with excitement.

Beth wanted to smile at the thought of being so close to holding her, but it hurt so bad she couldn’t do anything other than keep her eyes squeezed shut and her teeth clenched.

She imagined him next to her, helping her lean forward or just offering words of encouragement. Telling her to not give up, that they would be holding their daughter soon.

Her worn face which was ordinarily as white as flour was now scarlet red and dripping with sweat. Her strawberry blonde bangs stuck to her forehead, a shade darker than usual.

She pushed as hard as she could, getting closer and closer to meeting her baby. With her chin to her chest, her fingers dug into the sheets of the bed, desperate for something to hold onto. His hand should’ve been there. Beth let out a long guttural scream as she felt their child passing through her.

The worst pain she could ever imagine was followed by instant relief. After only four pushes, out fell a little baby girl with the darkest brown hair and darkest brown eyes she’d ever seen. It was true, up until now all her babies had been born with light hair and blue eyes, just like her. But if there was ever a question before, there certainly wasn’t now. She wasn’t Dean’s.

A high-pitched cry came from her tiny mouth and the doctor put her on Beth’s chest. Beth cried every time and this time was no different. Her arms wrapped around the crying baby and she kissed her head.

“There now, Mommy’s here,” Beth lulled as the nurses unsnapped the shoulder piece of her gown. They pulled it down low enough that her breasts were uncovered, and they could connect skin-to-skin. “Hello, Lauren,” she whispered while thinking about absolutely nothing else. For one sweet moment she would enjoy this and not worry about all the problems she would face later. Right now, it was just them.

…

Beth texted Dean later that night.

_You can tell the kids that their little sister was born this afternoon. Going home tomorrow. Bring them by the house in a few days._

It felt good that she proved them wrong. Everyone who didn’t know the situation had told her that it was going to be difficult. Because she wasn’t young anymore, because she wouldn’t have the energy, because she wouldn’t have Dean. What none of them knew was that Dean was lazy and useless for most of their marriage. He stayed home when he was sick and laid in bed watching TV. When she was sick, she still made lunches, and helped with homework, and got the kids to school. She was always the one to wake up throughout the night to do the feedings, the diapers, changing their clothes and giving them baths when had blowouts.

This was literally nothing new to her. And the best part, this delivery was by far the easiest.

Within 30 minutes she was already up and walking around. Lauren had no trouble latching and when Beth changed her diaper, she didn’t cry. After giving them a chance to bond, the baby nurse took her to the unit with the other newborns. That gave Beth a chance to take a refreshing shower and change back in her own clothing. A brand-new set of soft pajamas clothed her post-partum body and she felt great.

After they brought Lauren back from the newborn unit, Beth laid her on her chest. She told her about each one of her brothers and sisters, her crazy yet amazing aunts Ruby and Annie, her cousin Ben, and of course, her clone. Her daddy.

In the middle of their one-way conversation, Dean texted back.

_Congratulations. They are excited to meet her. Emma’s asking for pics. Call if you need anything._

Beth took a second to snap a few pictures. She sent them to Dean with the caption “Lauren Olivia,” knowing well that he probably didn’t want to see what she looked like.

As happy as Beth was to have her, it was hard to look into that face and not feel guilt.

She knew that Rio would’ve wanted to be there, to watch her take her first breath and cut the umbilical cord. She wanted to give Lauren his last name, but she never knew it. Beth decided months ago that she was not going to keep him a secret from their child. It was inevitable that her daughter was going to see her other children with their dad and wonder where hers is.

In a few years, Lauren would start asking questions about why he had to leave and why he wasn’t coming back. Why he _would’ve_ loved her but why she would never get to feel it herself. Why she couldn’t go to the park with him with her brother Marcus. Why he couldn’t take her to a father-daughter dance. She was going to ask why she didn’t look like the rest of her family.

And it would be all Beth’s fault.

Beth took all of that away. As painful as it was admit, it really was for the best, it had to be. At least Lauren would grow up going to more birthday parties than funerals, she’d see her mom bake cookies in the kitchen instead of going to some grungy warehouse to see what her daddy did at work. Maybe Rio would have never exposed to her that life at such a young age, he didn’t Marcus. But her job was to keep Lauren out of harm’s way, and if that meant keeping her away from him, then perhaps she did the right thing after all.

At least she would always have to tell this to herself, just so she could be the mom her kids needed. “I’m sorry, baby. I had two choices and I couldn’t pick them both,” she whispered. Lauren was asleep, but she might not have the strength to tell her this when she got older.

“And don’t you ever let anyone tell you that you’re any different from Kenny, or Danny, or Jane, or Emma…” she paused growing sadder. “Or Marcus. You are my baby girl. And you are absolutely perfect.”

…

It was a strange feeling being in the hospital by herself, not having anyone to share her baby with. It didn’t feel right. Lauren was so beautiful and so wonderful, and she wanted him to see that. Beth wanted to believe that he was looking down on their child. But to be real if there was a Heaven, Rio probably wasn’t there.

He would’ve supported her though, she knows he would’ve. Rio would’ve been there through everything. He would’ve killed to protect them, especially that guy that held a gun to her face in her home the week before.

Who was he? It wasn’t someone she recognized from Rio.

_36 Weeks. 4 Days._ _Morning._ She was standing at the island in her kitchen, her back facing the front door, framing Jane’s A honor roll certificate when she felt someone in the room with her. She turned around and saw a 20-something guy with a spider web face tattoo walking towards her. After not being involved with Rio for almost a year, the last thing she assumes is that he was a “friend.”

He was dressed in all black and his eyes were glossy. What was that in his hands, a Glock 19? 48? A year and a half ago she wouldn’t have known the difference between the real thing and a toy, but she had learned a lot since then.

“Please,” she said feeling vulnerable due to her current physical state, “I’ve got cash, lots of it.”

He went through the motion of putting the gun to her face, which she should have been used to at this point, but she wasn’t. Beth slowly pulled her robe back, revealing her round almost full-term belly. Maybe he could understand that.

“Please,” she spoke holding both of her hands up, “I’ve got a baby coming. Any day now.”

“I heard you do laundry?” he said with his gruff smoker’s voice. _Laundering---_ Beth assumed he meant. Her hands slowly went down as she could tell by the way he was shaking that this was his first job.

For Pete’s sake, Boomer could’ve done better than that. Rio would’ve had him shot him on the spot.

“I hear you’re the highest paid suburban ‘round here? How you doin’ it? Without your boss and all?”

She immediately knew he was talking about Rio. It had been so long since anyone had brought him up. Why was he asking about him?

“What do you want?” she said in her most fragile speaking voice. He pushed the gun into her hair, “Gimme what you got, bitch!”

Beth nodded her head and began to cry, “Okay!” She pointed toward the ceiling and slowly motioned for him to follow her upstairs. He hesitated, but followed as she held her stomach and took deep breaths, reminding him that she was defenseless.

She led the way to the second floor and tried to keep from panicking. She stopped at her closed bedroom door, “It’s in here.” He tilted his head as if he didn’t believe her. “All of it,” she confirmed.

Beth pushed the door open and immediately went to her nightstand. She hovered over the drawer and carefully opened it, purposely blocking his view. If he could have seen, he would’ve saw a black Ruger SR22 awaiting him.

Without a second thought, she grabbed the pistol and whipped around as fast as her body would allow. Before he could react, the barrel was pointed at his cheek.

“Get the fuck out!” Beth shouted angrily. He nearly flew out of the bedroom and she could hear him tumble down the stairs. “If you ever come back here again I’ll blow your goddamn head off!” she screamed at the top of her lungs and heard him run out the front door.

Moments later, when she went down the stairs, a sharp cramp hit her lower insides. She gripped the railing and waited for it to pass. Beth knew the difference between the real thing and Braxton Hicks. This was just another warning that she was coming soon.

She closed the front door that he left wide open and locked it. Then she went to the back door and ensured that it was locked as well. Beth turned around and leaned against the glass.

“Sorry about that,” she stroked her stomach and breathed through the nausea flaring up. After 8 months of almost nothing Rio-related…minus the obvious, this was like throwing cold water on her face. The baby moved around inside and Beth could tell her stress level was probably upsetting her. She massaged the area where she felt her daughter starting to stir. _I’m sorry, Mommy’s here._

Looking back on that moment made her sick. Rio would’ve never let that happen. She hated to admit it, but she missed how he would just show up sometimes. When she got herself into a dumpster fire and somebody was fucking with them, he would just show up out of nowhere and handle it. It made things so much easier for her. But Beth could handle herself, couldn’t she? She didn’t need him and he certainly never owned her. He liked to think he did but she always did whatever she wanted to in the end. Beth thought that he might even be proud of how far she had come since the days of robbing Fine & Frugal.

Beth considered herself somewhat of an entrepreneur now. In the beginning there were a few hiccups but Annie, Ruby, and herself had finally mastered the trade. Chemically bleaching and breaking down the smaller bills, recrafting it back into paper and printing it into a larger bill. The process was long, exhausting, and it required all of them to pull it off. Beth couldn’t do the bleaching portion because of the fumes, so she was in charge of printing, cutting, and distributing. It was pure art. They spent so much time sharpening the process, and it paid off, literally. Rio was right the first time he called her a boss bitch.

Damn. It was so easy to believe that until she looked at herself in the mirror. When she looked down and saw the life he put inside her. That was something she couldn’t lie to herself about. Because of her, their child would always have a hole in her heart, right where he should have been. And no matter how many times she tried to justify it to herself, she would never be able to forgive herself for that.

_36 Weeks. 4 Days._ _Evening_. Rio sat in a vehicle down the street from her house, pondering the events and conversations he’d had in the last few weeks. He gave him the key to her door and told him to find out what she was doing.

When Carl came back to the warehouse from Elizabeth’s, he was spouting off about how he fucked up and panicked. That he didn’t get anything because he wasn’t expecting her to be so pretty and so pregnant. _Pregnant._ When he said that word, Rio couldn’t believe his ears. He almost wanted to believe it was his but he knew it couldn’t have been. She wouldn’t have done what she did if she knew she was having his kid. _She did know…didn’t she?_ Hell. It could be his, he guessed. Rio’s thoughts were running away with him so fast that he was barely listening to what Carl was saying. All until he mentioned the part with the gun.

Rio uncrossed his arms and took a step towards the new kid. He asked in a slow emotionless tone, “You put a gun on her?” They both knew it wasn’t a question. Carl looked as if he was going to faint.

“Calm down,” he said noticeably panicking and holding up his hands in surrender, “I didn’t shoot. You just---you said that she likes to take control and that I needed to not let her take control---" a blast to his own head cut him off. By the time the rest of his body hit the floor, there was a fountain of blood coming from the half of his face that was still attached. Rio didn’t often shoot anyone himself, but this was necessary.

He remembered her soft pink flesh wrapped around his, her milky white tits bouncing as they shook the walls of the bed off and on for hours. He gave it to her good that day in the bedroom. Thinking back on the timing, it probably was his.

“Here we fuckin’ go…” he said out loud. The longer he thought about it the more he fumed. He imagined her husband touching her and sleeping with her, rubbing her belly like it was his kid. The thought of that guy with Elizabeth made his blood boil, and he’d be damned if that kid took his last name.

He should’ve just payed her a visit himself. Words couldn’t begin to describe the anger and resentment that he felt towards her.

She fucking shot him three times and was going to keep their baby all to herself? He’d be damned before he let another man raise his child. Could she have fucked this up any worse?

Rio did take partial responsibility. He knew he had pushed her to it, created what she became. Hungry, addicted, obsessed. She wasn’t ready to be hard but he made her be anyway. He was only trying to show her who she really was. The real Elizabeth, the one that had been buried for all those years. He could see something that no one else could. She was his prodigy. So quick to learn with instincts out of this world. She was a natural like him. And he gave her that, she was nothing before he showed her that she was everything. Before him, Elizabeth didn’t know what she was capable of and she should’ve been grateful because he never gave away anything for free.

He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. The image of her carrying his child made him want to forget it all and pretend the whole past year never happened. Well, except for that afternoon. Or that other time. He felt himself hardening up right then. If he had it his way, he’d walk right up to her right now, turn her around, and stick it in like that night in the bathroom. He wondered what she looked like and how big those machine guns were now.

He wasn’t going to go yet. He needed time to think about what he was going to do and how he was going to do it. If this really was his child, it changed everything, for _both_ of them. He wanted to need her alive so badly and if this was true, this was a great reason to keep her around.


	2. Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth brings Lauren home. Rio comes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first of all, thank you for all the comments and kudos on chapter one! I've never gotten that much feedback before, it's truly humbling.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
> 
> XOXO

_Two days old._ Ruby pulled the car around to the front while Annie walked alongside the nurse who was pushing Beth in a wheelchair. The newborn slept warmly in her mother’s arms.

Ruby and Annie insisted on helping out for the first couple of days. It was a huge relief for Beth, who wanted nothing more than to just get a few hours of sleep. She felt guilty. It was hard at first, letting someone else take care of her baby. They kept their niece downstairs so that Beth wouldn’t feel obligated to go to her when she cried. When Lauren was hungry, Ruby brought her back and Beth nursed her lying down, not ever having to move.

In the living room, Ruby watched TV while Lauren slept and Annie cleaned. By the end of the second day, the house was the neatest it had been in years and even the laundry was finally finished. Finished, not caught up, but finished. After being given a fresh start by her sisters, Beth had never felt so refreshed after having a baby. She slowly made her way down the stairs, the first time since coming home. She could’ve cried as she looked around the main floor and saw how put together everything was. She got sleep and a clean house? Ruby and Annie did more in those two days than Dean did their entire marriage.

She didn’t want them to go, but it was time. They needed to get back to their own families and she needed to be with Lauren. After they left it was just the two of them.

Kenny, Danny, Jane, and Emma finally got to meet their little sister a few days later. Kenny presented her with a vase of flowers, Danny gave her a pop-up card made from pink construction paper, Jane put a beaded handmade necklace around her neck, and Emma painted a watercolor picture with flowers and a heart that said “I love you Mommy” in the middle. Beth teared up as each of them proudly offered their presents to her.

She helped them take turns holding their new sister one by one. Emma was the last to hold Lauren, and as soon as Beth put her in her arms, it was love at first sight.

“What do you guys think?” Dean asked bending down to their eye level.

“She’s littler than me,” said Emma while holding her baby sister. It was astonishing how fast she took to not being the baby any longer. Jane tried to take her back but Emma held on. “Mine,” she said. Jane settled on stroking her hair while Kenny and Danny made sour faces. “What’s wrong?” Beth asked, hoping that they wouldn’t ask anything that would ruin this beautiful moment she was trying so desperately to savor.

“We’re outnumbered now. Three against two,” Kenny groaned. Beth smiled knowing that was her son’s biggest grievance. Dean ruffled Kenny’s hair, “Well guys, we need to let Mom and Lauren get some peace and quiet.”

They had only been there for twenty minutes, but Beth knew they would get plenty of time with her when they came back home in a couple weeks. The Boland kids each wrapped their arms around their mom and gave the big slobbery kisses Beth missed so badly. She started walking them out, the kids were already piling into Dean’s SUV when he and Beth approached the door. He stopped and turned to her. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

Beth nodded her head surely, “I feel great. I’ll be even better when my babies come home.”

“Things will be back to normal soon,” he offered, but it wasn’t enough. Beth watched him walk to the car where her children were waiting. She couldn’t help but feel like she should be going with them. I mean, was Dean really all that bad? He obviously bought the flowers that Kenny gave her. And he was still being nice after she had another man’s baby. For a moment there, she felt responsible for breaking up her family.

And then she recalled when Dean faked having cancer so she wouldn’t leave him. She pictured all those girls with their legs around his waist. Amber and her tiny breasts in her husband’s face. That girl who looked like a little boy, Patty, the one he boned while she was pregnant with Emma. All those women and her husband. Her ex-husband now but he was completely her husband back then. Not to mention the financial hardship he put on her shoulders. No, she had no regrets at all and remembered why they weren’t together. It wasn’t because of Lauren and it wasn’t because of her. It was because of him.

…

_Two weeks old_. She was supposed to get the kids back this week but things had not been so easy. Like most infants, Lauren had not yet fully grasped the concept of night and day and so Beth’s evenings became mornings and her days became nights. Beth knew better than anyone that sometimes, babies were just inconsolable. It was after 2 AM and Lauren was having an especially rough night. She had been fed, burped, changed, sang to, hummed to, bounced around the house, and every other trick Beth knew. The only thing she hadn’t tried would require her to pull out the car seat, but she was getting desperate.

Lauren cried as her mother wrapped her up in a fleece blanket. “I know baby, I feel the same way,” Beth said in her soft calming voice. Then Beth threw on her robe and her slippers and trudged out the door carrying the infant under the night sky.

Beth buckled her in the back seat and laid the blanket on top of her. The infant continued to sob and Beth winced. She hated hearing her baby cry, but she knew that in a few minutes, Lauren would be asleep.

She started the engine and backed out slowly, barely able to keep her eyes open. As she got out onto the main road, Beth turned on the radio, which started blaring Radio Disney. She quickly changed the station to something more baby friendly, like Pink. “This is a good one,” she said to her baby who was halfway fussy and halfway unsure of what to make of her mother’s singing. _“Every day I fight a war against the mirror, I can’t take the person staring back at me, I’m a hazard to myself.”_ She was bopping along to the beat and looked up at the rearview mirror to see Lauren’s reflection in the rear facing car seat mirror. Her eyes were finally starting to close.

_“Don’t let me get me, I’m my own worst enemy, it’s bad when you annoy yourself.”_

Her eyes were still shut and Beth thought she might’ve been able to get away with turning the music down. But it was a trap. The second she stopped singing and touched the dial, Lauren whimpered. Beth turned it back up again and continued belting out a song that she related to a little too much. _“Don’t wanna be my friend no more. I wanna be somebody else.”_

Beth let the music play until the song was over, then she turned around and saw that Lauren was out. Completely out. She turned back around and noticed she had slightly crossed over into the other lane. Beth turned the wheel lightly, correcting herself and turning the music all the way down. She glanced up at her rearview to check her daughter one more time and that’s when she saw it. Red and blue flashing lights.

_Don’t you dare turn your sirens on and wake up my kid_.

Awful memories began to replay, when she would drive for Rio. She remembered the first time she went across the border and she just knew she was going to be busted and arrested. Then she finally discovered what she smuggled…wrapping paper. _Special_ wrapping paper. Ever since she met Rio, nothing good ever came from interacting with the law. Oh well, this would be a simple interaction. All she had to do was tell the truth this time.

Beth pulled over slowly, taking another glance over shoulder to check Lauren. She was totally out now. She turned her head upwards and rubbed her eyes, feeling way too tired for this.

She sat motionlessly as the officer approached her window. She rolled it down and waited for him to speak.

“License and insurance,” he said shining a flashlight in her face, nearly blinding her. Without hesitation, Beth retrieved them from her purse. She brushed her bangs back from her face, nervously, “I’m sorry, my---” but before she could finish, he snatched the IDs from her hand and began walking back to his vehicle.

Beth pursed her lips and tapped the steering wheel, “Well, okay then…” she mumbled.

She ran her hands through her hair, hoping that this would be quick. 5 minutes passed, then 10. Did traffic stops usually take this long?

Then a terrible thought came to mind. She had committed several felonies in this vehicle. What if he was running her? Not the license plate or the vehicle, but her? What if this was the careless mistake she had spent so long trying not to make?

She took several deep breaths and continuously turned around to make sure that her baby was still there. The thought of going to prison and losing any of her children was pure hell, but Lauren…she was all Lauren had. Dean could raise the kids if she was in prison, but what about Lauren? Who would raise her?

It seemed like 15 minutes had passed, what the hell was taking him so long? She either was going to prison or she wasn’t, but if she wasn’t, she needed to get this kid back home so they could both get some sleep.

As if on cue, she saw the door open and the officer step out. He approached her car and gave her back her driver’s license and insurance card.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Home,” she said, her voice an octave higher than normal. Her pitch always elevated whenever she was sleepy or stressed.

“You been out drinking?”

“No,” she scoffed, almost offended. Could he not see what she was wearing? She was wearing a loose maternity night gown and a bathrobe. Obviously she hadn’t been out at the club.

“You sure about that? You were going slow and veered into the other lane. It’s pretty common for an intoxicated driver.”

Beth lost her patience at this, “Do you honestly think I would be driving drunk with my child in the backseat?” At that moment, the officer shone a light past Beth and it landed on Lauren’s blanket.

_So help me god, if she wakes up…_

“I’m exhausted and I turned my head for a second, I’m sorry.”

The officer seemed taken aback, I mean why else do suburban moms drive their minivans around at two in the morning? He looked confused, then he looked embarrassed.

“Go home,” he groaned, “and keep your eyes on the road.”

As he was walking away from them, Beth almost lost it. She looked at Lauren’s angelic face, it was so much like Rio’s. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She waited a few moments before getting herself together and driving back home.

It wasn’t easy taking care of her alone, but she would do it for the rest of her life if it meant that no one was going to separate them.

When they got home and she carried her up the stairs, Lauren was still passed out. She was going to sleep good tonight, Beth knew it.

“You wanna sleep with Mommy tonight?” she asked laying her daughter down in bed with her.

Except Beth didn’t sleep, she napped. She couldn’t allow herself to relax enough. She woke up constantly, checking to make sure her baby was still covered, still breathing, still there beside her.

She watched the sky turn light blue with Lauren nestled on her chest. And when the baby finally began to wake, she was greeted with her mother’s sweet touch.

“Good morning, baby girl,” she whispered lifting her off her chest and kissing her forehead. She hoped that today would be a better, completely unaware of what was coming for her next. 

…

The kids were coming home the following day, so she started creating dishes that she could throw into the oven quickly. Even though she and Dean were going to do three days on and three days off, she prepped six days’ worth of food and arranged them neatly, one after another inside her refrigerator.

The last thing she wanted to do was clean the huge mess she made in the kitchen. But she knew that if she didn’t do it now, it would take every ounce of energy she had to do it later. And energy was not something she had much of these days.

Once she finished, all she wanted to do was crash. Beth could barely keep her eyes open as she nursed Lauren on the couch. They were both falling asleep, Lauren was milk drunk and Beth didn’t have the strength to carry her up the stairs to her crib.

Beth cuddled her like she used to do with all of them. Her warm arms provided a safe and tender place for her baby to rest. “Just give me one hour, please…” she said kissing Lauren’s forehead as she dozed off, praying that her child would sleep.

And they did. Many hours passed before the little baby girl stirred. She yawned and stretched her body out. Beth awoke to her eyes fluttering, undecided if she wanted to go back to sleep or not.

Beth smiled and rubbed her nose against her baby’s. She was quite shocked when she saw that it was dark now, how long had they been asleep? When she checked her phone, she was shocked to find that it was after six o’ clock. God, they really were tired.

“You did so good today,” she said as she gave the baby lots of soft kisses. Her little cheeks were so round and her fingers were so tiny. Beth picked her up and held her against her shoulder. She patted her back, thinking about how tomorrow, things were going to go back to normal.

“Mommy’s going to take a shower, then we can snuggle and watch a movie, okay?” Beth whispered as she began carrying Lauren up the stairs. She went to their room and laid the baby in her crib. Lauren looked up at her with her big brown eyes and puckered her lips.

Beth turned the mobile on and rubbed the baby’s belly. “Mommy will be right back,” she said.

She slipped into the bathroom and was just about to take off the robe and night gown she’d been wearing for days, when she thought she heard the doorbell ring.

It gave her a strange feeling. Only Dean and the kids would be coming over right now, but they had a key. Same with Annie and Ruby. She knew it wasn’t one of Rio’s friends, seeing as how they always let themselves in, so she really had no idea who was at the door.

She sighed at the loss of a long-awaited shower and hung her head in defeat. She went over to the crib to check on Lauren, whose eyes were closed once again. Beth tiptoed away from the crib and grabbed the Ruger from the drawer in her nightstand. She had to load it. Because of the kids she never kept it loaded. In a perfect world, she would never fire one again and if it weren’t for what happened several weeks ago, she probably wouldn’t feel like she needed to.

Beth quietly made her way down the stairs. Approaching the door, she looked through the peephole but couldn’t see anything. She concealed the pistol behind her back and slowly unlocked the door. She didn’t know what she was expecting. Beth really didn’t expect anything dangerous to pop out, she had just been so on edge since that afternoon in the kitchen. But nothing in the world could prepare her for the moment, when she opened the door and saw the ghost of the man she killed.

The father of her child.

…

A ghost, a demon? He had that smug look on his face, the one that made her sick.

Beth nearly lost her balance as he stood right there in the flesh. He looked exactly the same. Hands in his pockets, beanie on his head, an eagle on his throat, dressed in black from head to toe.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she had to lean against the door frame to keep from falling.

“Easy there, mama,” he chuckled. His voice, smoky and sensual. Every hair on her body stood up straight. She wasn’t sure if she was dreaming, or if she was dead too. The longer she stared at him the more certain she was that if she wasn’t dead already, she was about to be.

He was doing that thing he did, where he would stare at her until she broke. God, she was so dead. Any second she would be in hell, paying for all the horrible things she’d done. And the worst part was that she couldn’t even attempt to defend herself, because she couldn’t move. She literally couldn’t move, like she really was in a bad dream where she was being chased and needed to get away, but couldn’t. That was exactly how this felt.

He bent towards her and she was prepared for him to pull out a gun and blow her away. But as she was waiting for the shot, she felt his steady hands brush a strand of her hair out of her face. It was a set-up, she thought. At any second, he was going to smoke her.

His taunting brown eyes broke her down to almost nothing. Then he slowly moved forward until he was pressed up against her body, his face inches from hers. Beth couldn’t react, she was still frozen. Her response wouldn’t have mattered though, because he went straight past her lips and right up to her ear,

“I ain’t here to see you,” he whispered before slowly backing away. With her insides squirming, she felt like she might throw up. What the fuck was he doing here then?

_Oh fuck. The baby. He knows about the baby._

She forgot that she was still holding a gun behind her back. She let her hand drop, exposing herself. Beth didn’t fight when he gently took it from her possession. He said something about not doing that again but his voice sounded muffled. Any sound she heard…it was like she was underwater.

Was it possible to feel every emotion at the same time? It seemed like the ceiling and walls were getting tighter. In autopilot, she didn’t say a word as she led him through the front door and took him up the stairs to the second floor, where Lauren was sleeping in Beth’s room.

They were almost there before she even realized that she was doing it, taking him to her. Beth stopped at the door and turned around to face him. Out of instinct, she didn’t want to let him in. He could shoot her and grab the baby. She knew that he was a good dad, but he didn’t know the first thing about Lauren. From the start, Lauren was _her_ daughter. Lauren didn’t know who he was, she needed Beth. He had to realize that.

Once again, they were inches from each other’s faces.

“You gonna move so I can see the kid?” he asked. Rio put his hands in his pockets and gave Beth a familiar look. Like he either wanted to kill her or fuck her, there was no in-between. The shock of him being alive was wearing off and now all she could concentrate on was what he was going to do to her. Beth nearly fainted.

“Relax,” he said, “I ain’t gonna run off with it.”

Beth was never going to relax, for the rest of her life she wasn’t going to relax.

Her gut was telling her to let him through. He raised his eyebrows and cleared his throat.

Slowly, Beth took a step backward and allowed Rio into her room. They both headed over toward the sleeping baby in the crib. When he saw her, there was no change in his facial expression.

She never imagined this moment so she had no expectations of what his reaction would be. But seriously? He had to notice how much they looked alike, there was no negating that.

Beth watched him closely. She knew that the sleeping child was the only reason he hadn’t put a bullet in her head, but what did he want? What was he going to demand? Would he take her with him? Would he allow Beth to still be a part of her life? She was going to be sick.

Rio turned his head. His face softened up and he started biting his lip.

It was something she’d never seen before, watching him take off the mask. He never looked so vulnerable. Beth could see it in his eyes, he was looking at their little girl the way she looked at their little girl. Like he would walk through fire or be skinned alive just so she could breathe.

“You should pick her up,” Beth said unexpectedly. It just came out, maybe it surprised him too. Rio glanced at her for a moment, then back down at the baby as if he was questioning it.

“Hold her,” she nodded. When he reached down and picked her up, she wiggled a tiny bit before snuggling into his arms against his chest. He brought her near to his face and breathed in her sweet scent. His lips touched her head gently, Beth increasingly started breathing normally again.

They didn’t speak for a long time. Beth took several steps backwards to give them their space. “She got a name?” Rio said finally, in a tone that wasn’t as slurred as it usually was.

Beth paused, “Lauren Olivia.”

“That’s the whitest thing you could come up with,” he smirked.

He only said that to taunt her. “Well that’s what it is and I’m not changing it,” Beth said defensively. She crossed her arms and braced herself for more of his shit.

“Nah, I like it,” he said casually as he held her baby hand, rubbing his thumb over her palm. “What’s her last name?” he asked looking up. Beth didn’t answer.

The timing was perfect as Lauren began to stir. Beth instinctively held her arms out, “She’s hungry.” Without hesitation, Rio handed the baby over and sat down at the head of the bed. Beth took a seat on the opposite end and opened her nightgown, revealing her very large and very full breasts. She unhooked the strap of her nursing bra and guided Lauren’s head directly to the tip, not giving a damn that he was paying especially close attention.

As she suckled, Beth made eye contact with Rio who appeared to have been in deep thought. He made himself comfortable on her bed, clasping his hands above his head while resting against the headboard. The way he was studying her, she knew that the wheels inside his brain were turning. She was a dead woman walking.

“When’d she get here?” he asked maintaining his gaze on Beth. The tone of his voice wasn’t so bitter. She wondered if it he was keeping it cool because now he saw that their baby literally depended on her to eat.

“A couple weeks ago,” she faintly answered rubbing Lauren’s cheek with her index finger. She hoped that he would recall sending one of his boys to pay her a visit, and she hoped he felt disgusted with himself about that.

“Just after your friend showed up and put a gun in my face.”

Rio scoffed and shook his head, “Forget about him.”

_Forget about him?_ As much as she would love to, she found it quite challenging to forget one of the most horrifying moments of her life. Lauren was right there inside her, if he would’ve pulled the trigger…

“He could’ve hurt us,” Beth declared angrily.

“I _said_ forget about him,” Rio said with less patience.

Beth dropped her head, Lauren had fallen back asleep. She wiped the slobber and milk residue around her mouth with the sleeve of her robe.

“He ain’t coming back, aight?” When she turned her eyes back to him, he looked present. The detached expression that he usually embodied wasn’t there. Beth tried to find something to say, but she didn’t know what. They just sat there, watching each other breathe. Then she saw him staring at her bare ring finger. Before she could stop him, he asked.

“Sucks being a single parent, huh?”

Beth could’ve slapped him. “Divorced, but we co-parent well.”

Rio made a face where he acted like he understood. He always looked that way right before he said something really obnoxious.

“It had nothing to do with her,” she interjected before he could respond, “we were over a long time ago.”

A buzz interrupted her testimony. It sounded like her phone until Rio reached into his pocket and pulled out his vibrating cell. She figured he pulled it out to turn it off, but he didn’t. In one second, all of his attention was focused on the little device. He typed something and appeared to be waiting for a response.

She looked down at their daughter, wondering why that couldn’t wait? It infuriated her.

“I thought you came to see---” but she was cut off by another vibration and the motion of Rio holding up his index finger up. He quickly started texting back, completely distracted. Beth didn’t understand how he could be given a second chance like this and not give Lauren his undivided attention.

“What could be more important than your daughter, Rio?” she found the words escaping her throat.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he said not pulling his attention from the phone screen.

_You fucking asshole._ Beth stood up to stretch her legs. She began pacing around the room with their daughter in her arms.

Their daughter, who was just meeting her father for the first time. That should be the only thing on his mind, she thought. What was wrong with him? He made her so unbelievably angry.

“You know, I’ve thought about this moment.”

“Hmm?” he mumbled, not really listening, and still typing away.

“If I ever got the chance to see you again. I’d say I was sorry and beg for forgiveness. But you know what, I’m actually not sorry about anything. You deserved it. You really did.”

Rio looked up from his phone with thick furrowed eyebrows, visibly caught off guard by her admission.

“This is all your fault and you know it,” she sputtered, “you’re a terrible person. And yes I’m terrible too, but I never did it for myself just like I never do anything for myself. But not you, in fact all you do is for yourself.”

He shot up, he got so close their noses almost touched.

“You gonna say that to the father of your child, Elizabeth?” She didn’t back away, if anything it set her off even more. He ruined her life, she was a normal person before she met him. If she didn’t get rid of him he would’ve gotten rid of her eventually. He said it himself, all she did was complicate his business and create “bitch-ass drama.”

Her voice was growing louder, “Am I wrong?”

“Dead wrong,” he growled.

“You put a sack over my head! Then you forced me into a van and ordered me to kill a man!”

“So what?” he asked stoically, “You thought you’d just erase me from her life? She don’t need a dad?”

“That’s not true,” Beth shook her head remembering the exact moment she found out. 

“The fuck you mean that ain’t true?”

“I mean you don’t know anything about it,” she said not missing a beat, fury brewing.

She wasn’t lying to him. 6 weeks after she thought she ended him, she went in for her annual well-woman checkup and was told that she had been pregnant with his baby for the past 10 weeks.

At first she didn’t believe her doctor. She knew within the first month with the others. How could she have been a quarter of the way there without noticing?

“Early pregnancy goes undetected with lots of women, particularly if you have a hectic schedule or experience life changes, maybe stress at work?” Beth closed her eyes and sighed, feeling tears about to flow. “Mrs. Boland, it can happen especially if you have four other little ones keeping you busy,” he said in a friendly chuckle. His attempt to make her feel better at being so oblivious to her own body was not helping.

Beth almost scoffed, _stress at work_.

She refused to believe him until they did an ultrasound. The gel was cold on her smooth pale skin. As much as she refused to believe it, when that little flickering appeared on the scan, she knew that her indiscretions with a certain tattooed gang leader were coming into bloom. _Oh. Fuck. Me._

Beth bit her lip and tried to appear as if everything was normal, as if she was going to go home and tell her husband that their fifth child was on the way. _Fuck._

Before she left the doctor’s office, she went to the restroom in the lobby. As soon as she locked the door behind her, the sobbing began and it showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. Beth gripped the edge of the sink and gave herself several seconds before looking up to face herself in the mirror.

What she saw was not good. If would help tremendously if there was something to pick up and throw, but there was nothing.

Studying her reflection, her breasts did look more swollen, as if that was ever possible. The bottom half of her stomach was poking out just slightly, not enough that someone would notice without looking for it. She pulled up her blouse and turned to the side, her hand finding its way to rest where there was now a baby. Truthfully, another one wasn’t going to make a difference. Except the baby wasn’t going to come out looking like Dean this time.

Beth cried until she realized that she couldn’t cry in the doctor’s office bathroom forever. So she dried her tears and fixed her mascara and put on a brave face for the world to condemn.

She didn’t hesitate to text Annie and Ruby to call her as soon as she got to the car.

Annie was the first one to respond. On the other end, it was obvious that her little sister was not used to being the one to give advice. It didn’t matter though, she just needed someone to listen.

“Well…no one has to know. You can always…”

Beth shook her head, “I can’t,” she cut her off. “I mean, you know I’m pro-choice and I would support any woman making that choice…it’s just…”

“No. I get it,” she heard Annie sigh.

Beth leaned her head back against the seat as she began to sob once again. She had no idea what she was going to say to Dean or how he was going to react. Not that he had anything on her, but this was going to change all of their lives, especially the kids.

Later that night when Beth was waiting for him to come to bed, she sat up on their mattress staring into space. All because of that one afternoon, after Dean took the kids and made a whole deal about her being a terrible parent. It happened right here in this bed, she thought.

He finally came to bed after she spent hours trying to decide how she was going to do this. She decided that she was not going to hesitate. Even without Rio’s baby, she didn’t want to do this anymore. It was too much pretending that they still loved each other and no matter how hard they tried, the kids were not benefitting from it.

When he walked into the room, she blurted it out.

“I’m pregnant,” she said blankly. Dean stopped dead in his tracks, blinking. He was noticeably confused, glancing around and he looked like he was trying to calculate the statement in his head.

“But…we haven’t…”

“Exactly,” she confirmed. The last thing Beth wanted to do was cause any more pain, even though she didn’t do anything to him that he hadn’t done to her. And she wasn’t that kind of person, or was she? Beth had changed so much, it was hard to recognize herself anymore.

Slowly, he made his way towards the edge of the bed and sat down.

“What’s that mean for us?” he asked. He didn’t look angry. Actually, she saw more reason in his eyes than she had seen in a long time.

“What do you want?” she asked him. She didn’t want to ask him that, but she shared four children with him. His opinion mattered.

Dean looked away from her, it looked like he was trying not to cry. Her heart broke. He cheated on her, she cheated on him. He cheated on her way more than she cheated on him but still. The hormones were making her extra sorry and extra forgiving.

“I don’t know,” he said.

Beth lowered her head, “I’m sorry.” No one in the world would ask her to apologize, but it felt like the right thing to do. “Don’t be,” he said resting his hand on hers. They both sat there silently, trying to process the epiphany that it was over. It had been over for years, but now it was for real. It was time.

The very next day they sat the kids down and told them. There were tears, confusion, and lots of hugging. There was nothing that they could say or do that would make this easier for them, except promise that none of it was their fault.

“Sometimes mommies and daddies don’t want to be married anymore, and that’s okay. All that matters is that you know we love you more than anything in the whole world.” Beth said this while holding Jane in her arms, who was almost too big. But Beth would never deny any of her children the feeling of holding them, no matter how old they were. Dean took Kenny, Danny, and Emma out for ice cream cones. However, Jane had taken the news hard. Beth did her best to wipe away Jane’s tears, it was almost too much for Beth to watch her child cry like that. It was going to be okay, she told her oldest daughter. They would always be a family and nothing was ever going to change that. “Janie, look at me,” she said picking up Jane’s face and cupping it in her hands.

“In your life, you are going to make so many mistakes and people are going to talk about you. They’re gonna judge you, point at you, and try to make you feel like you deserve whatever crap comes your way. But that’s when you hold you’re head up, and you look right at them and you point this finger up,” she helped Jane bend all the fingers on her hand down, except for the one in the middle. “This means that you know you messed up but you own it and you’re proud. And you give it right back to them because they’ve all done it too.” Her daughter looked at her puzzled, “Just don’t do it at school, okay?”

Jane nodded her head and snuggled into her mother’s arms.

This was the speech she was thinking about when she and Rio were staring each other down in her bedroom. Neither one of them had moved, and as much as Beth tried to keep a stiff upper lip, months and months of fear, exhaustion, and pain were becoming nearly impossible to ignore. She felt herself on the edge of a skyscraper. Looking down, looking up. If she stepped off, which way would hurt worse?

She closed her eyes and dropped her head. The painful knot she had grown so familiar with appeared in the back of her throat. Beth held Lauren close as she could feel Rio’s breath on them.

“Don’t do that,” he said in hushed and smoky voice.

Without any warning she found herself choking on tears, the harder she tried to fight it, the worse it got. She couldn’t look at him.

Beth lost all feeling in her legs and found herself falling, only to be caught by his solid grasp.

“Lay down,” he said helping her to the bed. There was no hesitation as he took the baby from her arms and laid her down in the crib, where she wouldn’t be in the middle of their warfare. Beth crumpled into a ball on the mattress. She heaved and held her breath, her face turned bright red.

“I killed you,” she managed to get out in sobs. Beth squeezed her eyes shut trying to forget the sound of the gun going off. She pulled the trigger on him three times. As if the first shot wasn’t bad enough, or the second. She put three bullets in him before she stopped. How could she do that?

Beth felt him lay down next to her, he brushed her bangs away from her eyes, “Stop.”

It was funny, she just wanted to make him go away, and she ended up making more of him. Every time she saw her daughter’s face, all she could see was Rio’s ghost. The minute she came out and Beth saw what they created, she knew she needed him there. That was the dad she gave her baby and nothing would ever change that.

Who knows how much time passed as they laid in silence. A whimper came from Lauren’s crib, it brought Rio to his feet. Beth rolled over, her eyes puffy and nose red.

She watched Rio bend down and scoop her up. She expected him to bring Lauren to her but he didn’t. He just held onto her. “It’s okay, Daddy’s got you,” he whispered in the softest voice Beth ever heard come from him. She looked on as he rubbed her back and continued to calm her.

It took Dean years to convince Beth to have a baby. After growing up with the mom she had, she wondered if motherhood was even meant for her. She had tons of practice taking care of Annie but it wasn’t the same. It scared her to think about bringing another life into the world. Having to feed, clothe, and provide shelter was the easy part. The hard part was what it would take from you, your identity, your soul. All she could imagine was that she would be just like her mom…

And then Kenny was born. The moment she saw him, it was as if everything she ever worried about didn’t matter anymore. She loved him so much that before they even left the hospital, she told Dean she wanted another one. What followed next were years and years of diapers, milk spills, sure her house never looked the same again, but she loved it so much. Even after all these years, when they fell asleep and were laying in bed, she’d go around to each of them and plant kisses on their little heads. There was nothing more amazing than that. The non-stop minivan life full of soccer games, dance recitals, bake sales, PTA meetings, birthday parties, pool parties, slumber parties, carpet stains, skinned knees, throw up, and trying to find lost dubbys at one in the morning…Beth wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

The way that she looked down on her sleeping babies as they slept, that’s how he was looking down on theirs. God, they were such horrible people, but they were good parents.

“Rio?”

He gradually turned his gaze to the mother of his child, “What?”

Beth closed her eyes which helped the last of her tears fall. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

With her eyes closed she couldn’t see that he was fighting it also.

“Elizabeth…” he grumbled. Beth opened her eyes and found him standing over her, holding the baby they made. Were those tears in his eyes? He swallowed sharply and cleared his throat. “You ain’t gotta do this all alone” he said looking down on her. He didn’t look as hostile as he did before. Beth’s heart continued to pound. “I mean, we’re partners, yeah?”

As much as she wanted to believe that, she knew that her debt was not going to go unpaid. If it weren’t for Lauren, she would’ve already been dead.

Beth looked into his eyes, where she could always find the truth. It’s how she read him. She searched for it, hoping that it wasn’t a ploy, and she found nothing but certainty.

“I can’t go back to the way things were,” she said. That was a fact. No more games, no more tests. He nodded his head, “I’d hope not.” Oh yeah, he probably didn’t. Nothing’s more fun that pulling bullets out of your chest.

“I want you to stay,” she started, her big doe eyes pleading for him to believe her, “but my kids are coming home tomorrow morning. And you probably shouldn’t be here when they get here.”

Beth could see that her words hurt him, but he nodded and gave Lauren back to her.

He pulled out his wallet and threw several stacks of bills on her nightstand, “I got you, mama.”

Beth stood up a little too quickly, almost feeling dizzy, “Wait a second. How are you going to explain this?”

“Explain what?”

“This,” she stated waving her hands back and forth between the two of them, “I shot you and I’m not dead.”

“And?” his body language and tone…so nonchalant.

“What are you going to tell your---our colleagues?” she asked said trying not to raise her voice. “I mean isn’t that going to make you look like a pussy? I get a pass after shooting you?”

Rio was already walking away, but then he stopped in the doorway. He did a slow turn-around, making every hair on her body stand out again. She probably shouldn’t have called him a pussy or insinuated that he was going to look like one because he was letting her getting away with his own attempted murder. But he surprised her again with a relaxed shrug.

“Blame it on the hormones,” he said before walking out of sight.

Then he was gone.

She stood there, wondering if she had dreamt it all or if any of this was real. Then she looked over at the stack of cash he just casually gave her.

Beth didn’t want to tease herself if she really was dreaming, but she walked over to the nightstand and touched the bills. She lifted them up and saw nothing but 50s and 100s. She blinked several times and heard the door close downstairs.

That was really him. He was back.

…

He sat in his vehicle, unable to leave or even turn it on. It was hard to walk out that door with his kid in there. Elizabeth had a baby. He watched Marcus be born and it was not easy. He had mad respect for her, and he wasn’t going to deny that she was as beautiful as she ever was. He liked it when she didn’t wear makeup. He liked seeing the skin pinken around her chest when she was flustered. Her tits…he couldn’t even go there right now.

And yet, all of that was superficial.

If he could’ve, he would’ve stayed there all night and taken care of both of them. Elizabeth needed a break, that was apparent. He could see how physically and emotionally exhausted she was. But he didn’t want to scare her, it was obvious that she was on edge seeing as how she thought that he was dead. It probably didn’t help that he randomly showed up on her doorstep weeks after she had a gun pointed at her. Yeah, he probably should’ve done a few things differently. And even though it was about serious business, his text message could’ve waited.

He hoped that he would have the chance to make it up to Lauren, for not being there. That one was primarily on Elizabeth, but he had to take some level of responsibility. He learned a long time ago that the first thing about being a parent was that it wasn’t all about him anymore. And he hadn’t been honoring that. Elizabeth was mostly right about what she said, he did do it for himself most of the time.

But that was going to change. From now on, he was going to do it for them.


	3. Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rio is there for Beth when she needs him most.  
> Also, Rio babysits the Boland kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first of all, my apologies for the delay.   
> I've been fighting depression and this season is not helping.   
> They are ruining Brio and I'm getting pissed off.  
> End of rant.
> 
> (And sorry for any typos, I always proofread but I was writing this all night)

He was coming over every night after the kids went to bed, bringing her anything she requested. She only ever asked him for diapers and wipes, but he always went beyond that.

It was nice when he brought over take-out. They could sit in the kitchen and talk over a late dinner. He was the only adult conversation she got and she looked forward to it every night.

Nights like tonight he would stay over and take care of Lauren so Beth could rest. She let him sleep in her bed, nothing ever happened, and it was nice having someone next to her again.

Especially tonight seeing as how tired she was. She climbed into bed and almost felt nauseated. Lauren was only just a little over three weeks old, and though Beth had initially recovered quickly when she was in the hospital, she had been feeling off all evening. But he was there, and she had pumped enough milk for Lauren throughout the night. Hopefully he wouldn’t need her for anything because all she wanted was to have at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Beth didn’t understand how much he meant it when he said, “I got you.” At first, she thought he meant that he would help support their child and be an active role in Lauren’s life, all of which had been true so far. But she didn’t know the extent of it until he advised that he would be taking over her finances. She had just closed her eyes and was about to fall asleep, so she wasn’t sure if she heard him right. Then he repeated himself in a smoky whisper, “I’mma set you up.”

Maybe some women would feel relieved and would rejoice at this act of generosity. For Beth, it was a slap in the face that he hadn’t yet realized that she was capable of making her own money. Literally. Secondly, never would she ever again allow a man to take control of her finances, especially him. That’s how she ended up here to begin with.

“What makes you think I need you to take care of me?” she asked. It was an observation Beth made long ago. As much time as they were spending together, it was incredible how little he knew her.

Rio didn’t respond. What? He fell asleep already? She knew better than that. She turned over and slapped his shoulder. “I’m talking to you,” she said.

She heard him sigh and then he rolled over to face her. They lied in bed, glaring at each other.

“You don’t want me to provide for my daughter?” he asked slowly.

“I _expect_ you to provide for you daughter. But I don’t expect you to provide for me too.”

“Fine. You ready for bed?” he inquired as if didn’t just royally insult her. “Think your giving me a headache.”

Seriously? He had a headache? She was still recovering from pushing out his kid three weeks ago and he had the nerve to bring up his problems. Beth didn’t understand why he had to be such an asshole sometimes. Then she remembered that he still had no idea. Maybe this was not the best timing, but she was going to have to come clean soon enough.

Beth groaned as she forced herself out of bed, maybe a little too quickly. Lightheadedness grazed over her and Rio sat up when she turned on the lights and yanked open her closet door. Beth huffed as she pulled down a photo storage box from the top shelf.

She walked to the bed where Rio was sitting up with that blank expression on his face.

Beth tore the lid off and turned it upside down, allowing $20 bills to fall down airily in front of his face. She shook the box up and down, ensuring that each one landed on top of the bedspread where he could see them.

He picked up a single bill and began to examine it.

“I did that,” she stated.

Beth watched him and blinked her eyes to keep them open. The anger he was making her feel was beginning to take its toll.

Slightly faint, she put her hand on her head and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

“Elizabeth…” she heard him say, although it sounded like she was underwater. His expression was no longer blank, but virtually startling. She had never seen him look at her like that before.

Moments after she felt the gush, he was looking down and when her eyes followed his, she noticed that the inside of her pajama bottoms were stained bright red.

The last thing she saw was him rushing towards her and the look of sheer panic on his face was enough to make her scream, but she couldn’t. She was just gone by then.

…

He had never even met some of the Boland kids, but that didn’t stop him from yelling at each of them to wake up and get into his G-Class. An ambulance wouldn’t be fast enough, he knew that from previous business deals.

They groggily followed him out the door and loaded up in the backseat.

“What’s wrong with Mommy?” Emma asked as Rio laid an unconscious Elizabeth down in the back cab of his SUV.

“Buckle up,” he commanded as he made his way around to where the three youngest Boland kids were sitting. He nervously worked hard to strap Lauren into her car seat. Thank god he installed that today.

The ride to the hospital was silent. Kenny, who took shotgun, had already fallen back asleep. Danny, Jane, and Emma were also closing their eyes.

He told them to buckle up for a reason. There was hardly any traffic out, but he had his hazard lights flashing as he sped through every stop sign and intersection, barely looking to see if it was clear or not.

Just minutes after leaving the house, he was pulling the vehicle up to the landing of the emergency room entrance. He had called 911 on the way and was met with a team of medical staff before he opened the door.

When they pulled Elizabeth out of the back, she was ghostly pale. So pale, he could see every vein behind her translucent skin. It was the scariest thing he had ever seen.

Everything after that seemed to happen so quickly. They parked the car and made their way to the waiting room.

“What’s your dad’s phone number?” he asked Kenny. The boy shrugged. “Any of you know your dad’s number?” he asked the other three. They each stared at him and didn’t say anything.

“Take your little sister and go sit down,” he said handing the car seat to Kenny.

The young boy obeyed and almost immediately, he realized that his tone wasn’t helping the situation.

When he was rushing to get Elizabeth out of the house, he didn’t realize how frightening he must have been to all of them. Yes, he helped Kenny with his math one day, but how were they to know they were safe with him? Especially waking them up from a dead sleep and seeing their mom lying on the ground in a pool of blood. He saw something like that when he was a kid and he never forgot what that looked like.

Rio texted Mick to go to the Boland house and collect the following items: Elizabeth’s purse and phone, Lauren’s already-made bottles and diaper bag (which he didn’t have time to think about while he was carrying her mother bridal-style down the stairs and down the driveway), and four chicken nugget Happy Meals with chocolate milk. And to make sure they put toys for two boys and two girls.

Typing all of this out took his mind off what was happening for just a moment.

Looking over at all of them, sitting down in a corner in the lobby, they looked so tired and confused. Rio walked over to them unhurriedly, he didn’t know what he was going to say to make them not-terrified of him.

He’d start with Emma and work his way around to all of them at some point.

“Your mom passed out,” he told the little girl as he sat down next to her, realizing that he never answered her question. When he said this, she looked up at him with a face of uncertainty. “She’ll be alright,” he said hoping that he was telling the truth. Maybe that was a lie, but he couldn’t go there. All he knew was that Elizabeth was in trouble. That was a lot of blood, he saw clumps of it fall out of the leg of her pants. But Emma didn’t need to know that.

“I’m hungry,” Danny said.

“Food’s on the way,” Rio answered, to which Kenny asked if they could drink Dr. Pepper.

“You’re all getting chocolate milk. Then your dad’s coming to pick you up.”

He had no idea what was happening right now, he wanted to go back there and be with her more than anything, but they had all these damn kids. He was stuck with them until Mick came back with Elizabeth’s phone so he could call Dean, then he would still have to wait for Dean to get up here and take them. He didn’t know what to do about Lauren, he wasn’t sure if they would let her go back there or not.

Rio looked around at all the kids who were finally starting to become alert and they were starting to ask more questions. Like first of all, who was he and what he was doing in their house?

“Are you my mom’s boyfriend?” Jane asked directly. She seemed somewhat defensive but he could appreciate that. “Nope,” Rio replied.

“What’s up with the tattoos? You get those in jail or something?” Danny slightly giggled when he said this.

He looked just like his mother when he smiled. The only Boland kid to have light brown hair, the closest to her’s. If Rio told him the truth, the kid would never sleep again. For her, he refrained from teaching the kid a lesson about asking inappropriate questions.

He felt a tapping on his shoulder, it was Emma. “I wanna get a tattoo,” she said behind a mischievous smile.

“Oh yeah?” Rio said turning all his attention to her. “What’s your mom gonna say about that?” The child started rambling, which brought an unexpected light to the room. He listened to her go on and on as she jumped from subject to subject including JoJo Siwa, slime tutorials, and how to do a dance called the Floss (which she demonstrated right there on the spot). Yeah, Marcus was always doing a dance like that. Maybe they could all get together soon and teach him how to do it.

She even got him to laugh at one point, when she got so into the dance that she lost her footing and fell. “Careful, little mama,” he offered his hand to help her, but she got right back up and continued, moving on to another move that was equally entertaining.

Rio almost forgot where they were until the carefree environment was invaded by an ER nurse starting to head towards him. By the look on her face, whatever she was going to say, it wasn’t good. He hoped that maybe she was going to talk to someone else but she kept heading towards the corner where they all were.

His hypothesis was correct as she approached him and asked to speak away from the kids.

“Are you her husband?” she asked.

Rio shifted and shook his head, wondering why she would need to ask that, “She’s my daughter’s mom.”

The nurse nodded her head and gestured for him to follow her.

“I can’t leave these kids out here,” he explained, “but their dad’s coming to pick them up.”

The nurse acknowledged that she understood and remained solid yet melancholy. They moved to a spot in the waiting room where the kids were just out of earshot.

“There were some postpartum complications,” she said quietly.

Rio was confused, Lauren was about to be a month old, he didn’t understand. “It’s called secondary postpartum hemorrhaging. It can happen up to 12 weeks after a woman gives birth. In this case we’re dealing with retained products of conception, leftover placenta that had never shed.”

He remembered how awful she was feeling, but he thought she was just exhausted. As the nurse continued to explain what happened he felt his guts twisting and turning. She must’ve been in so much pain and he never even knew it. He had the nerve to tell her that she was giving him a headache, while her body was turning on her.

“Doctor thinks we’ll be able to save her uterus,” she continued, pausing after Rio’s mouth hung open. “…but in the event of an emergency hysterectomy, do you know her next of kin?”

He stood there in shock. _Save her uterus?_

Hours ago, she was just fine. Elizabeth was sitting up, walking around, talking, eating Chinese take-out with him. They were with their baby. How could this happen so quickly? What the actual fuck was happening?

It took strength and willpower to be able to separate where his mind was going and what his mind needed to do, which was to stay calm and get her next of kin up here ASAP. He knew that Elizabeth didn’t have a mom and dad…the only person he knew was her little sister.

The nurse left him to go back to the kids and make arrangements.

When he called Annie, she sounded like she had been woken from a dead sleep. It took him several moments to get her to recognize who he was. “Gangfriend,” he said, which seemed to click with her.

He tried to stay calm when talking about what he saw, what he did, and how he had no idea how she was doing. Annie advised that she would be up there quickly and call Dean right away.

Immediately after he got off the phone, Mick pulled up to the front doors of the emergency room entrance. The kids followed Rio to the door where he began handing out their late-night meals one by one.

He sent a quick text message to Dean from her phone.

_At ER. Kids are good. Elizabeth is not. Wait for little sis’s call._

He stuffed her phone back into her purse and sighed. The kids were all occupied eating chicken nuggets and french fries. About 15 minutes passed when Dean, Annie, and Ruby all ran through the doors of the emergency room at the same time.

“What happened?” Annie cried as she and Ruby ran to him. Dean headed towards the kids. “Where is she?”

Rio had to take a moment to put it into words, and he hated having to say the words out loud. “The nurse said she had a postpartum hemorrhage and that they would try to prevent her from having a hysterectomy.”

“A hysterectomy!” Ruby shrieked.

Rio rubbed his face and heard a small whimper come from where the kids had been sitting. He walked over to Lauren’s car seat and saw that she woke up. Ignoring Dean, as he was standing right there with the kids, Rio scooped her up and carried her back over to where Annie and Ruby were waiting for more answers.

“You should go back there, someone should be with her,” he said sadly, wishing that someone was him. They didn’t hesitate and approached the front desk, where they were led to the back.

He looked down on their little baby in his arms. Even though Elizabeth was convinced Lauren was his spitting image, he still thought that she looked a little bit like her mom, especially her chin and nose.

Rio caught Dean staring at him. They had not had much direct contact since that night in the kitchen when he shot his ass. Dean was not his favorite person, especially after he learned all the shit he did to Elizabeth. But to be honest, he knew that he was not Dean’s favorite person either. None of that mattered though, at least not right now.

He saw Dean tell the kids to stay where they were and finish eating, then he started making his way towards Rio.

“She gonna be okay?” he asked with a nervous look on his face.

Rio shrugged his shoulders, “I really don’t know, man. Been out here the whole time,” he said motioning towards the outside waiting room of the ER. Dean nodded. He was in a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. At least he got there fast. “Thanks for feeding them and taking care of them.”

Rio shrugged again, not commenting any further.

“I’ll probably drop them off at my mother’s and come back,” Dean continued. Hopefully he was talking to himself at this point. Rio didn’t know what to say to him. It was strange even being in the same room with him. Both men were such private parts of Elizabeth’s life, it was like they knew the other existed and didn’t want to admit it, but here they were. Standing together in an ER in the middle of the night while the mother of their children fought for her life.

“We’ll stay updated, yeah?” Rio said offering his hand to Dean. Elizabeth’s ex-husband looked taken aback but extended his arm out and the two of them clasped hands for one real moment. Rio could put aside anything when it mattered, and he would do anything for her.

Dean took the kids back to his house and then Rio was left alone with the baby, the heavy weight of not knowing what was going on behind the doors was becoming unbearable.

He called Annie but her phone went straight to voicemail.

Rio looked around and wondered what he should be doing. Should he approach the front desk and ask to be let back? Should he wait for Annie and Ruby to return? Should he take Lauren back home and give Elizabeth some peace and quiet?

But he didn’t even know what was happening. Elizabeth could be in surgery right now or worse…

Rio forced himself to go back to where the Boland kids had been sitting and wait with Lauren.

He fed her half a bottle and changed her diaper, then when she got fussy he stood up and bounced her around the empty waiting room. Over the next several hours, people came and went, the lobby would occasionally get busier but there was never more than ten people waiting at a time.

Lauren was sleeping soundly when Ruby and Annie came walking slowly from the back. He tried to read the look on their faces, but it was pointless. Whatever happened, happened.

Rio stood up and headed towards them with Lauren in tow. _Please just let her be okay…_

Annie opened her mouth to say something but choked. His worst fears began flashing through his mind. The thought of…no, Rio couldn’t go there.

“She’s resting,” Ruby said breaking the silence. Rio could’ve dropped to his knees as he could hear the relief in her voice. Due to shock he only heard pieces of what she was saying to him afterward, something about a D&C and there was now a balloon device in her uterus. But that was just it. They saved it and she was going to be okay, however she was still going to be in the hospital for several days.

“I’m gonna stay with her,” he said to them. Ruby and Annie exchanged a glance and stepped aside so he could pass through the double doors to the next wing. “Go to the desk and ask where Elizabeth Marks is,” Annie advised.

He passed through the doors and followed the hallway to an open area where lots of doctors and nurses were walking back and forth. He approached the desk just like Annie told him to.

The nurse looked up at him, “Elizabeth Marks,” he said. It felt weird saying her name like that, he had just assumed she kept her married name for whatever reason.

She clicked the mouse a few times and he watched her eyes scan the computer screen. “Looks like she’s in recovery…1139. It’s towards the end,” she said pointing her finger down the hall of many patient rooms.

He couldn’t have walked fast enough, with Lauren and her car seat in one arm and her diaper bag and Elizabeth’s purse in the other.

Rio reached the door and it was closed. He was scared to open it and see Elizabeth laying there. Ruby mentioned that she hadn’t woken up yet. He thought about how he was going to be the first person she was going to see post-op. It made him nervous, what if she was disappointed that it was him?

It took all of his strength to, but he pushed open the door and found Elizabeth sleeping in the hospital bed. She was hooked up to several different machines and there was a bag of blood hanging from an IV pole going directly into her skin.

He had never admitted how much she actually meant to him. In the beginning, it was purely business. The flirting, the rivalry. And then when she let him touch her…that was the start of something new (until she shot him). But he didn’t give a fuck about that anymore. They had a baby.

Really, he didn’t care about any of yesterday’s bullshit, he just wanted her to be okay. And he felt responsible because he did this to her by getting her pregnant in the first place.

Rio sat down in the chair next to the bed and quietly watched her as she slept. Her skin was see-through, if he couldn’t see the rise and fall of her chest, he would assume she was dead. It was the most terrible thing watching her lay there, the only thing worse would be losing her and that thought made his mind go to very dark places.

After 20 minutes of silence, his eyes were growing intolerably heavy. He didn’t want to fall asleep in case she woke up, but it had been such a long night. He allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment, giving in to exhaustion.

…

The morning sun peaked through the window shades after only an hour. When he awoke, Elizabeth’s eyes were open. She was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. He stood up suddenly and was at her side. She looked up at him and blinked one time. She didn’t say anything as she exhaled and dropped her head, sinking into the mattress of the bed.

“Hey, mama,” he whispered in a soft voice. Elizabeth didn’t respond, she just laid there breathing. He paused for a moment, wondering how long she had been awake.

“You had a secondary postpartum hemorrhage…” Although her face was expressionless, a tear slid down her cheek. He wondered how much pain she was in. Every single thing she did was for her kids. And he knew that. Rio imagined how scary it must have been for her to wake up from something like this and not know what happened. He wondered how much she remembered, if anything. “Where are my babies?” The discomfort in her voice broke him.

“They’re good,” he said in an attempt to lessen the worry, “with their dad.” He watched the visible relief flood her entire body. Elizabeth nodded and tucked in her chin.

Rio turned his back and bent down, lifting their daughter out of her car seat. He placed her in her mother’s arms, knowing just what they both needed.

He hadn’t cried since he was a little boy. But when he whispered, “We almost lost you,” he was fighting tears. The image took him places he hadn’t been in a long time.

Before she came into his life, he had never done this, opened up.

From the very beginning of his career, Rio made it a rule to never fall in love. He couldn’t put someone through what his father put his mother through. After his death, he watched his mother’s entire world crumble into nothing. The process of watching her slowly rot away was something he would never forget. He watched from afar as she laid in bed, losing weight from not eating, her face getting bonier and bonier. Even at 11 years old, he knew that she was killing herself because it was too painful to go on without him. Rio decided that he would never get that close to someone and just concentrate on getting out. It was how he got into the game.

Now Elizabeth was laying there and all he wanted to do was tell her. Because he could not envision a world without her, a world so cold and lightless.

Elizabeth looked up at him and he couldn’t hide the truth from her, so he told her everything. From the car ride to the Happy Meals to the balloon in her womb to shaking hands with Dean. The entire time, she never said a word or even moved. He guessed it was mainly due to being under heavy sedation and also because that was a lot of information.

Then out of nowhere, he leaned down and kissed her. Not on her forehead, or her cheek, but on her lips. The last time he saw her lips was when he was watching her being carried off on the stretcher. They were colorless from the amount of blood she lost. He kissed her a second time and felt her kiss back.

When he pulled away, her big doe eyes were unreadable. One of the things that drove him crazy about her, was that she was so hard to read sometimes. This was one of those moments. He didn’t know if she was going to speak or go back to sleep. But whatever she needed to do, he was going to take his place right there in the chair by her bed and wait for her to come back to him, no matter how long it took.

Then her lips parted and she said something that he would never forget, for as long as he was alive. She said something he never thought he would hear, especially in his line of business. He wasn’t used to being the hero and he didn’t consider himself to be one now. But it did make him stop and think when she quietly uttered something along the lines of “…if it weren’t for you.”

Elizabeth continued to whisper how if he didn’t come by, she would’ve bled out alone in her bedroom. The kids wouldn’t have found her until the morning, and by then she would’ve been gone. Five kids would’ve been left without a mother; he saved her for all of them, including his self. Because after hearing this, he knew that he couldn’t do this without her. He’d be lost without her.

“I love you,” he said. He never said that to anyone, not even Marcus’s mom, it was always business between them, like it had been with Elizabeth. Now it was more.

“I wanna do this with you,” he said gesturing between her and Lauren, who slept quietly as her parents unveiled their secrets. “I can’t not do it with you.”

Elizabeth’s lips quivered until she let out a quiet sob. Don’t fucking cry, he thought. If there was anything worse than seeing her in a hospital bed, it was seeing her cry. But here she was and so was he. Both crying like bitches, shit. Who was she and why did she have the ability to do this to him?

“That’s all you had to say,” she smiled through tears. Even in the hospital, pale as hell, exhausted as fuck post-op, she never looked more beautiful than she did right now.

He could stare at her all day, his fiery strawberry-blonde boss bitch.

Rio loved her smile and he couldn’t resist brushing her hair out of her eyes.

“I love you, too,” and when she said it, it was over. Anything in life that did not benefit their families, or the family they were creating, was going to have to go. And he would do whatever it took to show her that.

Elizabeth could handle herself, that was damn straight, and when they worked together, they were an unstoppable, indelible force of nature. There was only one question:

Would the world be ready for them?


End file.
